Tomi Lahren : Black Lives Matter Hates Little Piggies And It's MLK Jr.'s Fault

Angry white chick , Tomi , chewing out MLK on her show Final
Thoughts.

From October , 2016

Dallas - Earlier this week The Blaze's Tomi Lahren claimed that Black Lives Matter is the fault of Martin Luther King Jr. , and that he needs to accept responsibility for their violence against pigs.

Ms. Lahren , who often goes on tirades just to hear the sound of her own voice , invited Dr. King to debate her on the show Final Thoughts , which airs week days on the Blaze Network. But unfortunately Dr. King had to decline due to the fact that he has been deceased for forty-eight years. However , that did not stop the feisty Ms. Lahren from ripping into Dr. King when he failed to make an appearance. 

"I invited Dr. King to my show , Final Thoughts , to debate me on Black Lives Matter , but apparently he's too dead to respond! Well , guess what? I... don't... care! Being dead is no excuse for laziness. 

"What' the matter Dr. King? Cat got your tongue? Or should I say , worms?

"Black Lives Matter is your fault!

"Yeah , that's right! You heard me. Black Lives Matter is all your fault! If it hadn't been for your constant whining about black people being such victims , Black Lives Matter would not be calling for the murders of poor , innocent little pigs wearing blankets.

"Cruelty to animals is not only disgusting , it's against the law. Tell me , Marty , what does Black Lives Matter have against pigs anyway? I thought they hated cops. But lately they've been ranting about roasting little piggy's in blankets and eating them like bacon.

"So , tell me , Marty. What do they have against pigs? Because they wear blankets? What about the ones that wear tutus? Does that mean they automatically get a death sentence , too? Or , what about all the little girls who dress up their little piggy's and have tea parties with them? Are they also going to get fried or roasted in blankets and get eaten like bacon , too?

"I'll be waiting to hear from you , Marty. 

"For Final Thoughts , I'm Tomi Lahren. God bless America , and all the little piggy's out there."

Ridiculous Things Liberals Believe Are Real ( Or Why Liberals Are Loons ) Part 1

Conservative sleuth , John Hawkins ( AKA
Sherlock Holmes ). No one can sniff
out those evil liberals like he can.

From January , 2017

Liberals. Can't live with them , can't live without them. If we could , we wouldn't be able to make fun of them. And God knows I love to make fun of them , because they're so loony , but haven't haven't got a clue just how loony they are. So , to prove how loony they are , I've put together another one of my brilliant lists. Here are the first ten.

1) Liberals think they know everything. No one hates a know-it-all liberal more than I do. They pride themselves on knowledge , but when it comes to real knowledge , they really don't know anything. All they really are is know-nothings who believe they are better than everyone else , because they are too dumb to know anything , and don't know just how dumb they really are. Conservatives are actually more intelligent , and know more than your average liberal. It's a known fact. Studies have proved it.

2) Liberals believe Bert and Ernie are not only real , but a gay couple. Yes , they are that stupid. 

3) Liberals believe the moon is made of green cheese. Everyone knows the moon is a natural satellite of the earth. Everyone , that is , except liberals. They actually believe it is made up of several different varieties , such as Munster , Cheddar , and Limburger. 

4) Liberals believe in global warming. They believe the earth is getting warmer , despite the mountains of evidence to the contrary. The earth is actually getting colder. Don't believe me? Then why does it snow?

5) Liberals believe evolution is real. Like global warming , there is no evidence to support this ridiculous theory. All existing species today , were created by God six thousand years ago. It says so in the Bible. What's more believable? A scientific theory that can't be proven , or the existence of God , who can be proven?

6) Liberals believe in the Flying Spaghetti Monster. One of the more absurd beliefs among atheistic liberals is that of a tentacled deity made entirely of pasta. Adherents to this belief refer to themselves as Pastafarians. 

7) Liberals believe in the Easter Bunny , and the Tooth Fairy , but not Santa Claus. These two fairy tales are fine for children , but grown adults who believe in such nonsense , it's just as ridiculous as the Pastafarians. 

8) Liberals believe in the Cookie Monster. Another Sesame seed Street character liberals believe is just as real as Bert and Ernie.

9) Liberals believe rocks make great pets. They not only believe they make great pets , they believe they are real pets. 

10) Liberals believe atheism is not a religion. Which proves how dumb they really are.

And there you have it. The first ten reasons liberals are crazy loons because they believe in the most ridiculous nonsense. 

American Veterans Declare Ted Nugent Their Enemy

From September 2016 

AP- Today a spokesperson for a coalition of American veterans of the Iraq and Afghanistan wars , made the announcement that they know the real reason why veterans are committing suicide. 

Recently , Nugent made the claim that president Obama was responsible for the suicides of American veterans. That claim raised the ire of veterans all over America , prompting the group , American Veterans Against Ted Poopy Pants Nugent to condemn the Motor City Madman's mouth diarrhea. 

In an interview with MSNBC , the group's spokesman , Moe Flem said , "Ted represents the ultimate bad boy , the ultimate patriotic American who speaks his mind and takes no prisoners. But in reality it's all just a facade. He's nothing more than a wolf in sheep's clothing. In other words , a coward playing the role of a fake patriot. He's a bully , talks tough , has a foul mouth , but he's just a pussy , a pansy , and a chicken hawk. He surrounds himself with guns , shoots defenseless animals , threatens to shoot immigrants , Muslims , the president , liberals , and has accused those who hate him of hating America.

"Ted thinks he knows American veterans ," Flem continued. "That's the funniest thing I've ever heard. Someone who's never served a day of his life in uniform , thinks he knows how they feel. Thinks he knows why they commit suicide. Because they know their commander-in-chief is the enemy. No veteran would tell him that and he knows it. The real reason they commit suicide is because Ted is full of crap , literally full of crap. Ted is the real enemy. They commit suicide because they know he's nothing more than a loud mouth , gun-toting , UN-American , draft-dodging , pants pooping , treasonous coward."

Republicans Finally Admit They Don't Like Obama Because He's Black

Washington DC - Republicans have claimed for years that their extreme dislike of president Obama has everything to do with his policies , and nothing else. But yesterday , some Republicans admitted that wasn't entirely true.

"Of course some of us don't like president Obama because he's black ," former presidential candidate and governor of Arkansas , Mike Huckabee , told the Washington Post. "But it has nothing to do with race or his Muslim name. It has everything to do with how he's destroying America with Obama Care , and allowing gays to marry each other and their horses."

Former presidential candidate and governor of Alaska , Sarah Palin , told MSNBC , "Obama's been complaining for years that people don't like him because he's black. And for years we've been saying that he should go back to Kenya where he was born. He's the racist."

On his radio show on the Blaze Network , Glenn Beck said ,"Barack Obama hasn't faced any bigotry! We have. Obama has kept black people on his plantation for eight years , giving them welfare, food stamps , Obama phones , and all kinds of free goodies. There are no white people on his plantation. He's the real racist."

During an episode of the O'Reilly Factor earlier this week , Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump , on a short break from the campaign trail , told Bill O'Reilly it was time to tell the truth about the Republican party.

"They're all a bunch of racists , " he admitted. "They may as well be wearing white robes and hoods , it's so obvious."

When O'Reilly pointed out Trump's own involvement in the birther conspiracy , and that he had earlier in the year denied knowing who David Duke was , Trump said ,"I never said Obama was born in Kenya , and I still don't know who David Duke is. They're the racists , not me."

Stupid Conservative Memes #47 Liberal Logic 101 Edition

If the shoe fits.

  



Everyone knows liberals are full of hate and intolerance. They're determined to take away our freedom and liberty. Look how intolerant they've been these last eight years , obstructing healthcare reform , calling it socialism , attempting to restrict abortion and voting rights , producing bogus tapes of reputable organizations like Planned Parenthood , and ACORN , destroying peoples lives , and reputations , attempting to defund PP based on lies and deceit , actually succeeding in destroying ACORN ; spreading fear and hatred of a president who was going to take away their second amendment rights ; spreading fear and intolerance of Muslims and gay people , calling down the wrath of God over same-sex marriage ; hiding behind the guise of religious freedom  to justify their bigotry and intolerance , while screaming that they are the real victims of intolerance

Wait ... that's what the Obama and the liberal haters have been doing. But still , liberals are intolerant because they dare criticize Conservatives for being intolerant. How dare they!

Conservative reasoning : when they criticize anyone , it's free speech. When a liberal criticizes a Conservative , look out! It's intolerance , an attack on free speech. The hypocrisy is mind boggling.

Stupid Conservative Memes #48 How To Speak Stupid , Part 1

... when Conservatives don't get their way.

Liberal hating Conservatives live in an alternate reality with alternate facts , and they have their own alternate language with an alternate definition. 

Here are twenty terms that have a completely different definition in Conservative land.

1) Obama Care : Socialism. Government take over of health care. Socialized medicine. Worse than slavery , the holocaust , and 9/11. Death panels. Reparations for slavery. The largest tax increase in American history. Total enslavement.

2) Taxes : Evil. Government greed. Taxing the lower class ... capitalism. Taxing the wealthy ... socialism.

3) Liberal/Progressive : Communist/Marxist/socialist/Nazi. Traitor. Un-American.

4) Terrorist : Muslim ( not all Muslims are terrorist , but all terrorists are Muslims ). All Muslims are culpable.

5) White terrorist/shooter : Mentally ill lone wolf. Don't blame the white guy. 

6) Corrupt cops who shoot unarmed civilians : Victims smeared by the liberal media. Heroes. 

7) unarmed black individuals shot by cops : Thugs. 

8) Barack Obama : Communist/Marxist/socialist./Nazi ( because the N word is no longer appropriate ). 

9) The social safety nets , i.e. , welfare , food stamps : Socialism.

10) Acknowledging racial bias : Race-baiting. Racism.

Stupid Conservative Memes #46 Liberal Logic 101 Edition

Obama haters were convinced that throughout his entire two terms , all he did was vacation and play golf , while ISIS waltzed across the southern borders right under his nose. He wasn't really concerned about terrorism , because he was Barack Hussein Obama , a name that was evidently synonymous with terrorism , was sympathetic with their cause , and was a Muslim himself , born and raised in Kenya , and schooled in a radical Madrasa , all according to the mainstream Conservative media. 

The constant message that he was soft on terrorism , that he harbored terrorist sympathies , contradicted the fact that Obama was far more aggressive in the war on terror than his predecessor , had intervened in seven different countries via drones , that resulted in the death of an American-born terrorist , Anwar al-Aulaqi , but also the deaths of innocents who weren't terrorists. This hardly sounds like a president who is sympathetic to terrorism.

Obama Wants To Eat Your Kids

Michelle Obama released her cook book , American Grown in the summer of 2012. Since it's release she has campaigned tirelessly to get Americans , and especially children , to exercise with her Let's Move America program , and to eat healthier with her school lunch program. But true American patriots are not buying it. And neither are students and their parents. They are fed up with the First Lady and are letting her know it. 

While most people probably couldn't care less , some Americans - notably , Conservatives - see this attempt by the Fist Lady as something much more sinister than a concern for the health of Americas youth. As most well-informed Republican Conservatives know , the Obama's are pure evil and are bent on destroying America and everything it stands for. So it is no surprise that the First Lady would implement such a program. To them it is just another attempt by the Obama's to further limit our freedoms and ultimately destroy America.

I recently talked with Sarah Palin , who voiced her concerns about this program. 

"Michelle Obama thinks she has everyone fooled with her Healthy , Hunger Free Kids Act ," she said. "But if you watch Fox News , and other Conservative media that are not afraid to report the truth , then you know for a fact that she's not fooling everybody. The only ones who are being fooled are the communist liberals who believe the lies of the communist liberal media. We know the truth about this deceitful  , evil program , and we have the facts. Most Americans believe it is nothing more than a harmless program to provide healthier school lunches. But the truth is that this program is designed to allow communist liberal , Marxist , Nazi , gay Muslims to further infiltrate and seize control of our public and private schools by telling our children what they can and cannot eat.

"First they're removing God from our public and private schools , and replacing Christianity with their Godless Muslim religion , and now this. This is exactly how communist liberal , Nazi , Marxist , gay Muslims behave. And the Obama's have been behaving this way since Barack's first election. And Americans are getting fed up with it. But thank God these communist-liberal-Marxist-Nazi-gay Muslim dictators won't be in power much longer. I just hope they won't take our precious guns away and throw us all in Fema camps before that happens."

Victoria Jackson , Conservative blogger and writer , has expressed her own concerns about this seemingly innocent program. And while her concerns may seem reasonable to some , they are certainly bizarre. 

"There is nothing innocent about it ," she said. "I believe it's more than just an attempt to get our kids to eat healthier. When I first heard about this program , I suspected there was something more to it than meets the eye. I began to question the purpose behind the program. Could it really be a harmless attempt to get kids interested in exercising and eating right? Or is it something to be suspicious about? They are communists after all , and communists are evil , and everything they do is evil. They're evil when they pick their noses and when they fart , because they don't pick their noses and fart like you and I do. 

"And that's when it hit me. It wasn't something harmless. It was something so unbelievable , and so sinister , that most of us would never believe it. I believe it is a subtle attempt to gain total control of our schools and kids for a much more sinister purpose. And I believe that purpose is to get as many students as possible , so sick and tired of all the healthy crap they will be force-fed with this program , that they will gorge themselves on as much junk food as they can. And when enough of them are plump and fat enough they will be invited to a special dinner at the White House , and then they will find out what Michelle Obama's school lunch program is really all about. But by then , it will be too late for them. There will be no hope.

"Remember that Twilight Zone episode , To Serve Man , where the tall aliens who all looked like Lurch from the Addams Family , came to earth to eat everybody? Well , I wrote a book called , To Serve Obama : How Barack Obama The Kenyan-Voodoo-Muslim-Cannibal Witch Doctor Plans To Eat Our Kids With Michelle Obama's School Lunch Program. It's a wake up call to warn Americans of Michelle Obama's book , American Grown , which is nothing more than a cook book.

"Please read it , and take action. We must impeach the communist-liberal-Nazi-Marxist-gay-cannibal Muslim before he eats all of our kids!"

I Saw Obama Kissing Santa Claus

Larry Sinclair ain't got nothing on Old Saint Nick.

Conservatives have known for some time now that Barack Obama is gay , despite the fact that he is married to Michelle Obama. Some believe it's a cover to hide the obvious fact that he's gay. Others believe that Michelle Obama is really a man , or a transgender , thus proving that her - or his , whether  you believe she's a man or a woman - husband is really gay. I tend to believe the latter. To me , and many Americans , it's common knowledge and irrefutable. Just as it's common knowledge that he is also a Muslim , and a communist. The evidence that he is gay is overwhelming , as you will see in the following story.

The loony liberals can deny it all they want , but we know the truth about this evilest of  men , who - according to great American patriot , Ted Nugent - weaseled his way into the White House.

Since his first term , he has shamelessly given his support to the militant Nazi LGBT community , which is nothing more than a front for the communist party of America. And more recently , has defended the supreme court ruling in favor of same sex marriage , which in my opinion , and the opinion of the majority of Americans , is an Obamanation. Patriotic Americans across this great nation are getting fed up with the actions of this out of control tyrant , who has hijacked the freedoms of all true Americans who oppose his dictatorial executive orders.

Recently , I reported a story about Obama's plot to assassinate Santa Claus. Apparently that attempt has been averted. He wouldn't dare assassinate Kris Kringle , now that it's obvious what the motive behind the plot was all about : to cover up his affair with the Big Man In Red.

Not long ago , I received an email from an anonymous source in the White House.  The author of the email was willing to offer an account of the alleged affair. The email reads as follows :

    To Wing Nuts Guide To Barack Obama :

It has come to my attention that the president is having an affair with Kris Kringle. I received this information from another source in the White House , which I cannot reveal , for fear they may be assassinated , just as the president planned to assassinate Kris Kringle. I'm sending this email in hopes you can help me get the word out , and prove to the world just how evil this man really is - Barack Obama , not Kris Kringle. Since the press is controlled by communists , who are covering up his criminal actions , it is up to us to educate the masses about this evil tyrant , who truly is worse than Hitler , And if we don't do something now , the communist liberals  , and the atheists who have been waging a relentless war on Christmas for years , will succeed in destroying not only Christmas , but everything else. We must not let this happen.

According to my source , last year when Santa visited the White House on Christmas Eve , to pass out toys and goodies to the president and his family , they noticed something strange. As the president shook his hand , he planted a kiss on one of his cheeks. They knew right then and there that something was going on between the two. Later that night after the Obama's went to bed , my source hid in a closet in the room. 

About three hours passed before Obama was seen entering the room. He headed straight for the cookies and eggnog that Sasha and Malia had left for Santa. He gobbled everything up as if he were starving to death , and eggnog dribbled down his chin and onto the floor. It was really disgusting to watch. Cookie crumbs and eggnog were all over his chin. Then he threw back his head and laughed maniacally , like the evil tyrant we all know he is , just like he does when he thinks he's got all of us fooled. 

Who does he think he is , drinking Santa's cookies and drinking his eggnog?! Santa's going to be pissed when he finds out what Obama has done. It would serve him right if Santa left him a lump of coal in his stocking!

But imagine my surprise when I heard what happened next. When Santa arrived he didn't leave the president a lump of coal like he should have. Instead he gave him a **** ***! I was not surprised by this behavior. But I was certainly shocked that they would do it right there in the open , when anyone could walk in at any moment , especially Sasha and Malia. What kind of impression would that leave if either of them walked in and found their father getting ***** by old Saint Nick? I shudder to think of it. And how would Michelle have reacted if she walked in? Would it have upset her? Probably not , considering she's most likely a man herself. Would she have joined them? I find the latter even more disturbing.

Many Conservatives , such as myself , have always suspected him of being gay - look at Mrs. Obama , she looks more like a man than a woman , it's undeniable - and this eyewitness account proves without a doubt he really is gay!

Thank God , no one walked in , especially the girls , but something more shocking happened next. The Obama dogs , Bo and Sunny , came prancing into the room , and wanted to join them for a foursome! Can you imagine that?! How disgusting! Of course , they didn't let the dogs join in. That would have been really disgusting. I have always known that he is a gay , communist Muslim , but if he had turned out to be a lover of bestiality , that would have been the last straw. 

 

One Hundred Signs You May Be A Conspiracy Theory , Tin Foil Hat Wearing Wing Nut Wacko .. Part 2

Alex Jones , the internet's favorite source for wing nuts.

Wing nuts left and right will believe almost anything , no matter how wacky or nutty it is. If it's on the internet , it must be true. The following are ten more signs you may be a conspiracy theory , tin foil hat wearing wing nut if ...

1. You believe white people are the real victims of racism.

2. You believe Barack Obama is the Anti-Christ.

3. You believe Muslim terrorists are living in the White House.

4. You believe feminists are Nazis.

5. You believe Barack Obama faked his birth certificate.

6. You believe Obama's momma was a space alien.

7. You believe the world is controlled by alien lizards from another dimension , because David Icke says so.

8. You believe it really is Obama's fault that Track Palin beat up his girlfriend.

9. You believe Hitler and his storm troopers are cross dressing , flowering wearing pansies.

10. You believe Barack Obama helped Bill Ayers and the Weather Underground plant explosives when he was eight years old.

If you believe any of the above , then you definitely are a conspiracy theory , tin foil hat wearing wing nut wacko , and should be institutionalized.

One Hundred Signs You May Be A Conspiracy Theory , Tin Foil Hat Wearing Wing Nut ... Part 1

Alex Jones , the internet's favorite source for wing nuts.

Some people will believe the wackiest nonsense they come across on the Internet , whether it's Alex Jones ranting about the New World Oder , chem-trails , or David Icke rambling about alien lizards from the fourth dimension running the world. So , I thought I would put together a list of one hundred signs that you may be conspiracy theory , tin foil hat wearing wing nut wacko if ...


1. You believe Barack Obama is a Muslim Manchurian candidate.

2. You believe the president is a card-carrying socialist/communist dictator.

3. You believe Obama is worse than Hitler. Hitler killed six million Jews.

4. You believe Obama personally implemented Fast And Furious , and is working hand in hand with drug cartels.

5. You believe Obama is a white culture hating racist. He's bi-racial.

6. You believe the president is secretly gay.

7. You believe Obama Care literally contains death panels.

8. You believe the president is part of a New World Order to destroy America through communism.

9. You believe Liberals are both fascists and communists , and are destroying your free speech.

10. You believe Michelle Obama is really a man , therefore proving that the president really is gay.


If you believe any of the above , you are indeed a conspiracy theory , tin foil hat wearing wing nut wacko , and belong in an institution.